Government Considering Renaming All Covid-19 Vaccines “Freedom Shots”

Joe Bidens cabinet is conferring with the CDC and other health organizations and pharmaceutical manufacturers to rename all Covid-19 vaccines “Freedom Shots.”

“We’re at a critical moment right now with vaccine supplies. In some areas of the country supply now far exceeds demand. This isn’t good for the prospects of achieving herd immunity anytime soon.” A spokesman for the CDC told us.

While several states are hitting their anticipated vaccination rates, fewer are exceeding them, and they are both outnumbered by states lagging behind. The plans intend to rebrand the image of the vaccine.

“Lets be real here for a moment. The same brand of idiot that un-ironically called french fries “Freedom Fries” in the wake of the Iraq war, is the same brand of idiot that is refusing the vaccine. They feel some liberty is being trampled on by being asked to do their part. I guess “be a selfish asshole” is the subtext they read when they cite the constitution for not needing a vaccine.” A physician and immunity expert advising the CDC told us on condition of anonymity. “Sometimes the lowest hanging fruit are the best ones to pick.”

The name is intended to have a double meaning, provoking images of American liberty, while also insinuating that by taking the shot you are being freed. While we can’t confirm there is also talk of looking into possibly adding an artificial color to the shot, or the needle itself to be red white and blue.

“Fucking morons. If this is what it takes, then great. At the same time though, if this is what it takes….maybe we do deserve to be wiped out by this disease.” Our physician source told us.